Lighting the Way: parents' and bystanders' stories

Parents' Stories

Harassment, from a Parent's View by a Mom
-- "[S]he would come home in tears....I told her to ignore it.... Finally in eighth grade, I had heard enough...."
N.B. The daughter of the Mom above has contributed her own account of her experiences, Sarah's Story, to Raven Days' Words Out of Shadow.

Lisa Blackwell's Story by Lisa Blackwell
-- "I have gone through all the proper channels to correct the problem, but... my son has only suffered more torment each time I have attempted to intervene...."

Sharon Wilson's Story by Sharon Wilson
-- "Frank was attacked from behind one day, pushed down then before he could get up his attacker kicked him in the face. His nose was broken...."

I can't contribute to this section myself, as I have no children. But if you've had similar experiences, and you'd like to let other parents know they aren't alone, please consider posting your story on the Web. Contact dixonm@pobox.com to send me your story (or a link to your story).

Witnesses' Stories

Anna's Story by Anna -- "What hurts most is watching them go at others. It's not so much that they outright say it. It's not as bad as these others schools. But sitting by yourself is painful...."

If you're a bystander who cares about the kids who are being bullied in your school, and you'd like to let others know what's going on there, please consider posting your story on the Web. Contact dixonm@pobox.com to send me your story (or a link to your story).

For stories from people who are or were outsiders in school themselves, see Raven Days' Words Out of Shadow.

Beacons

JaredStory.com -- A site where parents can post memorials for children who've committed suicide after being bullied.

A Student's Take on Bullying -- Letter to the editor of the Glen Cove Record-Pilot, written by seventh-grader Sofia Christopoulos in response to an incident in which a student was knocked unconscious by other students on a school bus.

He Always Did the Best He Could, by Bob Mann for the Cameron Herald -- "James Barrett absorbed endless teasing and harassment by cruel classmates who poked fun at his plump frame and unkempt demeanor...." A bystander's memories.

When They Were Bad -- "Finally, e-mails in hand, I asked again, 'Are the girls mad at you?' She stared at me with old, sad eyes and said, 'Yes.'...." -- Article by Carolyn Magner for Salon.

Bullied Girl's Mother Backs Change -- Article about the mother of a 15-year-old who attempted suicide after being bullied. Web-published by the BBC.

Parents "Ignored" by Schools -- Article web-published by the BBC..

When the Bullies Won -- Stephen Connors' 13-year-old daughter Vicky was sexually assaulted by a friend's father during a sleepover. When she testified to police, she mentioned her concern that the friend's older sister led a large group of students at school. She was promised that nothing bad would happen. Vicky was regularly beaten up for the rest of the school year. When it began again the next year, after a particularly bad beating, her parents enrolled her in private school. Article web-published by the Guardian.

When Lunch Hour Turns Into "Lord of the Flies" -- "Which is when my son spoke up. 'I was bullied in middle school,' he said. As a sensitive, well-informed parent, always involved in the lives of my children, I reacted as expected. 'You were?' I said...." Article by C.W. Nevius for the San Francisco Chronicle.

School Shooter's Mom Talks About Her Son, by C.J. Cassidy -- "A young man came up to Joshua and tried to set him on fire twice...." Web-published by KFVS.

Bullying is Cruel Not Cool, by Alan Howe for the Herald Sun. -- "I didn't bully them, I swear. But I saw others who did. And I stood back in silent compliance with everyone else...."

Whatever Schools Say, Bullying Still Flourishes, by Juliette Hughes for the Age. -- "Time after time, as student and teacher, I had seen kids punished when they tried to defend themselves after repeated abuse that was committed with impunity...."

New Principal Did Not Stop Bullying, by Dianne Lowe -- "My granddaughter is a quiet young lady who did her best to tolerate the despicable actions of the students, which ranged from getting hit and pushed, to getting spit at and constant verbal attacks...." Web-published by the Standard-Times.

Letter: Adults Condone Bullying in School Traditions, by Nicole Cromwell -- My children were...ridiculed, chased home from school by groups of other students, had their lockers trashed and their school projects sabotaged." Web-published by the Billings Gazette.

Bullying Prompts Parent to Home-School -- "Usually it's fights that are never broken up. Teachers just stand there and watch." Article by Jessica Floyd for WRDW.

Beat the School Bully -- "When we said, 'Come and join us', he said 'It's ok, I'm used to sitting by myself'." Article by Chrissie Russell for the Belfast Telegraph.

Father of Suspended Boy Accuses School of Supporting Bullies -- "Kieran came home very shaken, with a black eye and a split lip...." Article by Jenni Horn for the Kent Messenger.

Truant's Father to Appear in Court -- A father is being prosecuted for failing to send his bullied 16-year-old son to school. His son had been repeatedly targetted by a gang of bullies at the school. Article web-published by the BBC.

Mother Fined For Boy's Truancy -- A mother has been fined 200 pounds for failing to send her bullied 15-year-old son to school. Article web-published by the BBC.

Father Convicted for Shaking Bully -- A man who confronted a boy who was bullying his 12-year-old son has been convicted of assault. Article by Stewart Payne for the Telegraph.

Bullying Incident, School's Reaction Distress Parent -- A boy was pushed into a filing cabinet and punched in the stomach. Article by Misty Maynard for the Ledger Independent.

Autistic Teenager Deals with Bullying... -- A student was involuntarily committed against his parents' wishes after other students started a rumor that he was planning a school shooting. Article by Russell Ledbetter for the Statesville Record & Landmark.

Bullying Takes Toll; Forces Daughter to Transfer -- A girl was slapped and shoved into walls at school after her mother alerted other parents to posts some students at her school were making on Bebo. Article by Kayla Gahagan for the Rapid City Journal.

Mother Alleges Kid was Second Victim of Bullying -- A girl's arm was broken by a bully who knocked her down. Article by the Star-Bulletin.

Race Bullies at Top School -- A Jewish boy was teased by students at his largely Roman Catholic school. Article by Bruce McDougall for the Daily Telegraph

Parents Concerned About Teen Bullying -- "My daughter can't go to school without being jumped on and I've taken the proper channels and nothing has been done yet...." Article by Lindsey Brown for WTOK.

Parents: Bullying Problem at Highlands Middle School -- "She was knocked to the ground, she was kicked, she was punched and she was hit in the face repeatedly...." Article by Ashley Coleman for WJXX.

Attesting to the Bullying Problem -- "He spent his break times hiding up to keep safe, and lived in fear of going to school...." Letter to the Editor of the Cayman Net News by Jane Finch.

Ending School Bullying -- "'Girls threatened to cut their hair, jump them after school. They were scared to death. They were pushed, shoved,' Colleen recalled...." Article by Jessica Noll for WCPO.

Mother's Advert to Shame Bullies -- A mother has taken out an anti-bullying ad in a local paper in memory of her son, who committed suicide in 1989 after being bullied. Article web-published by the BBC.

The Case for Home School: Bullying -- Bev Powell began homeschooling her daughter and founded an anti-bullying website, Cruel at School, when her daughter was bullied and school authorities did nothing. Article by Lewis Hannam for Channel 4. See also The Home School Reaction, web-published by Channel 4.

Bullying Gone Too Far -- On February 8, 2006, 12-year-old Tom Trosvik hanged himself after telling his parents he had been bullied. Now his parents have started an anti-bullying organization, B.U.L.L.Y. Article web-published by KARE.

Parents Take a Stand Against School Bullies in LaFollette -- "'I get a call from the teacher saying, 'Gary these three girls got your daughter again.They ran her face into the locker this time and she's hurt....'" Article by Melissa DiPane for WATE.

Allegations of School Bullying at Westside Middle School -- "He's been called freckle face, stupid, and dumb...." Article web-published by KAIT.

Bullying Can Lead to Self-Esteem Problems, Sometimes Death -- "He died that day, with less friends in his life than he could count on one hand." A bystander's story. Article by Lauren Fox for the State News.

Messages From the Dark Side -- "Insults became incessant. He was openly mocked for his "greasy" hair and his skin...." A bystander's story. Article by Julian Houston for the Boston Globe.

Bullying in Schools: Can It Be Stopped -- "(He) had put the gun to his head, and was ready to pull the trigger when one of his friends called...." Article web-published by KMBC.

Driven to Death -- By Bullies -- "Unless you've ever found your child dead there's no way you'd understand what it's like...." Article by David Lowe for the Sun.

Student Reports Harassment -- "girls...have shoved her daughter, Christina, 15, off school buses, punched her in the side of the head and slammed her head into a bathroom wall...." Article by Rick Wills for the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review.

Mother, Daughter Claim Conroe ISD Tolerates Bullying -- "She's actually been called bitches and whores, scary bitches...." Article by Rucks Russell for KHOU.

I Had to Act After the Bullies Beat Up My Son -- Article about Liz Carnell, creator and maintainer of Bullying U.K..

Battling a Bully Problem -- "She watched as a classmate picked her 85-pound son up off his bus seat like he was tossing a jacket...." Article by Olivia Clarke for the Times.

My Son Is Not Safe at School -- "She says Joshua was kicked so hard in the groin that he 'couldn't walk for five days.'..." Article by Adam Darbyshire for the Tamesside Advertiser.

Angry Parents Speak Out About Bullying at School -- "[M]y daughter has been reduced to a frightened individual who can barely sleep...." Article by Vicky O'Hare for the Gazette.

Bullying Issues Addressed at Norman Schools -- "She watches her back for him all the time...." Article by Meghan McCormick for the Norman Transcript.

Two Mothers Stand Up Against Bullies -- Two mothers picketted their bullied children's school. Article by Eddy Ramirez for the St. Petersburg Times.

Mum Attacks School Over Bullying -- A student who complained of being cyberbullied was accused of lying about the incident. Article by Lloyd Vaughan for the Bridgwater Mercury.

Florida Mother Uses Gun to End School Bus Bullying -- A mother pointed a gun at several students who had been bullying her son on the school bus. Article web-published by All Headline News.

School Failed to Stop Bullies -- "The bullies are still at the school while my child had to leave for her own safety...." Letter to the editor of the Border Mail.

Parent Accuses King Solomon of Failing "Bullied" Daughter -- "Mr Lewis spoke to her and told her not to walk around the school on her own," Mrs Swords claimed...." Article by Dana Gloger for the Jewish Chronicle.

Bullying Bust-Up Drove Mom to Suicide -- "Tess said divorced Nicola begged her sons' school in Basingstoke, Hants, to put a stop to the torment. But in vain...." Article by Emily Miller and Stephen Moyes for the Daily Mirror.

School Board Hears Parents' Stories of Campus Bullies -- "I have begged, I have pleaded. I have been lied to." Article by Sheree Kuehn for the Carroll County News.

Parents Can Help Prevent School Bullying -- "The child ran up behind her, grabbed her by the back of her hair pulled her back with the bookbag on her back, holding her arms down so that she couldn't fight back...." Article web-published by WSAV.

Parents Complain of Bullying in School -- "Two of the parents said their daughters were repeatedly bullied by a group of freshmen girls at Fermi High School...." Article by Larry Smith for the Hartford Courant.

Group Wants Online Bullies Subdued -- Interestingly, despite the headline, this article is not about cyberbullying. -- "She said she often felt like she was drowning in a sea of bullies, which she likened to "seaweeds pulling you under." Article by Eddy Ramirez for the St. Petersburg Times.

All original material on the Raven Days website, except the material appearing in the sections Words Out of Shadow and Lighting the Way, © 1999-2008 by its creator and maintainer, Meredith Minter Dixon.. Copyright to the articles in the sectionsWords Out of Shadow and Lighting the Way is retained by their authors. Counter: 8718